More VAGUE than VOGUE: get a six pack in a matter of days! However, one runs the risk of smelling like week-old Weetabix.

You wanna get yourself down that Debenhams, dear and look like this fella here. They do a two-stage spray tan with that San Trop stuff and paint on FAKE abs! Imagine.

Their words: “It’s the same technique employed by painters, who use dark and light colours to create the impression of depth in their pictures.” And “The spray tan can also be used to create the illusion of defined arm muscles and strong back muscles – all essential features to create a stir on a beach.” Indeed.




Filed under Richard Gray

4 responses to “More VAGUE than VOGUE: get a six pack in a matter of days! However, one runs the risk of smelling like week-old Weetabix.

  1. joshua tobias franco

    I have vivid memories of discussing chiaroscuro at length in first-year Art History lectures, with some less imaginative classmates deferring to it at every turn as their primary and only tool of visual analysis…tools indeed.
    But yes, the ability to understand and articulate plays of light and dark is a crucial element of participating in visual culture. I would consider its application to my admittedly wanting body under one condition; if I entertain having my abs slathered on with a brush, I want artists and collectors to consider taking paintings to the gym. Monet needs to hit the weights and work on defining those lines. Gauguin could use some crunches. Western art just went soft in the gut during Modernism, and Western man followed suit. So whether by brush or by dumbbell, we all seem to have been pre-occupied with firming up again since then. Hopefully I don’t confuse my watercolor set and my gym bag next time I head to a workout.

  2. 10magazine

    Decorus somes

  3. Geez, everytime I see blogs this good I just want mine to be there already! 🙂 Great work. I blog about the rapid weight loss effects of resveratrol.

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