Diary of a Topshop Unique Show Girl

00120m

…And then suddenly I was beamed up into a UFO, once there some aliens gave me a couple of glow-in-the-dark handbags and flying saucer print tops before sending me back. I woke up in the shower (like a latter day Bobby from
Dallas) and decided to call a number I found in a telephone box on the M1. Some mysterious voice told me to congregate with random others in a field on the outskirts of Milton Keynes where we were to dance to the exotic ‘inasania’ of hardcore beats. By this time it was freezing so I wrapped myself in a HUGE scarf and threaded my fabulously too-high boots with neon laces. The end.

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